Fantasy Drinkware

I was going to write a blog about how all promotional products can be similar to your own fantasy football roster, but then I realized that there are only nine spots on most FFB rosters and there are a bazillion promotional products.  So here it is, I am breaking down the Drinkware category and allotting the different styles to different FFB positions.  Why? Well, too many people don’t really understand the versatility of the promo market so I’m just going to show the range of one category.

Going from least important to most important we’ll start with the kicker.  Yeah, sorry Blair Walsh but in most cases it’s just a coin flip as to which one of you kickers are going to have any impact.  I match this spot up to the $1.00 water bottle.  Get lucky and you’ll get some points on game day,but after that who knows if it will be worth anything to anyone.  These water bottles are not usually dishwasher safe or leak proof.  So even though it might be a big hit at your event, the next week it might leak wide right like Mason Crosby’s season of 2012.

If not for Jimmy Graham I would say TE’s are next, however, I will officially give the second least important spot to the Defense.  Only because one of worst defenses on the planet (the Vikings) can end up scoring 20 points due to a matchup against an INT happy quarterback like Matt Schaub.  So what Drinkware item is like the defense?  Has to be the 32 oz plastic beer stein.  Put that thing in the hands of wine drinker and it’s pretty much useless.  Put that thing in the hands of a Cobber at Mick’s Office and you’re going to get your money’s worth.  I do wonder why I have about five of them at my house – I was a Dragon and was supposed to be at Chumley’s.  Or was I at Chumley’s?

Moving on…

Next up is the Tight End.  There are a few great ones in the league but for the most part you are just hoping to get about 8-12 points.  Easy match up here, it’s the ceramic coffee cup.  Yes, some are great like the heat changing, show up out of nowhere imprint option that World Wide Lines offer but not all are that awesome.  For the most part though if you get it to sit on someone’s desk you’re going to get about 8-12 cups a week out of it.  I’d say as an advertiser you would be happy with a $4.00 cup sitting around for 365 days a year with 8-12 cups a week.  That’s actually way better than owning Kyle Rudolph this year… Gross.

Wide receivers are next.  Some may argue that this position is taking over for the RB’s since the League is becoming so pass happy.  I say they still are just behind the RB’s in relevance so we are going to match up all three wide receiver spots with all the traveling tumbler options out there.  Get a bad travel tumbler and you’ll be dropping it in the trash just like Jacoby Jones was dropped from everyone after his face caught the bottle from Sweet Pea.  Glad to hear you are staying classy Bryant McKinnie. If you do get a good WR you will make sure to hold on to them as long as possible.  Just like the stainless steel travel tumblers, they’re much less likely to get moldy!

The second most important spot is the running back position. RB’s are big point producers as long as they stay healthy.  They could be compared to some nice glass or crystal cocktail sets. (Or water glasses I guess)  Lasered crystal items are guaranteed to impress your guests as long as you can keep them from falling on the floor.  Drop one of these glasses and you just lost out on your good advertising investment.  Just like when your round two RB pick tears his ACL in week 3.

Last but not least the Quarterback.  So far Peyton Manning leads the way in value here.  He definitely appears to be a step ahead of all defenses.  If his arm was a big as his head there would be no stopping him.  I bet you wonder what type of Drinkware could be just as important as Peyton Manning right?  Don’t need to look too far all around you and you will see it.  It’s nothing crazy or all the pretty (like Peyton again) but it’s the acrylic tumbler.  I bet I fill mine 5 times a day or…carry the two… 25 times a week!  Check out your retail stores like Target or pretty much any gift shop and you are guaranteed to see these clear acrylic tumblers everywhere.  Dishwasher safe and somewhat durable (Fed Ex has proved many times that you can break them) they get used and used while your logo can stand proud on a product that can lead your brand to victory.

Stay tuned for some real, good, Fantasy Football advice… If I can find someone to give that to me.

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