Hanging with the G-Hog

Groundhog Day….even the words are ugly. Ground+ hog bring beautiful pictures to mind, don’t they? Not so much, really. In case you haven’t caught on, my blog is about the recent “holiday” we crazy Americans refer to as Groundhog Day. That single day in February, where people play dress up and drag a poor sleeping G-hog out of his hidey hole to determine “if” he sees his shadow, and “IF” we will have six more weeks of winter. Lets get real. This poor varmint is in a warm sleepy hole, when he’s rudely dragged out into the freezing cold before more TV cameras than should be there, and we actually pretend to believe he may or may not even know if he HAS a shadow? When someone drags me out of a deep sleep, I can’t even tell if I have a head, let alone a shadow.

Poor Puhxa-what-y Phil. Doesn’t anyone else question how this poor critter can still be alive? I have never heard that the lifespan of a groundhog is similar to that of a tortoise. Or is the old “bait and switch” perhaps? Possibly the same ploy a parent might use if say, a child’s favorite goldfish might pass away unexpectedly? You know what I’m talking about. Going to each pet store to find the closest match to said deceased fish, and doing a quickie replacement. (I, of course have NEVER had to resort to this.) I really think they’ve been doing this for years, which begs the question….WHY? Would anyone even care if the groundhog had a new name each time one mysteriously passed away? (Translation- got eaten by a wild animal.) I’d like to propose we name the next poor specimen “Bob.” Bob the Groundhog. It works! 

And the whole concept of winter being over in February in our neck of the woods would probably incite riots. We wouldn’t know what to do with ourselves if winter actually DID end in February. Can you imagine if you could wear flip flops and start golfing this early in the year? Im fairly certain even the infamous Groundhog can’t help us out there, no matter what you call him.

So, in closing, what’s good about Groundhog Day? I’d say only the movie with Bill Murray…unless perhaps they taste like chicken?

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